


Better Parts of Valour

by nonky



Category: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 04:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17891285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonky/pseuds/nonky
Summary: Prompt by tigriswolf on LJ: the Solomons, none of them have really mastered the art of whispering





	Better Parts of Valour

Sally had always regretted their command structure. It was not that she didn't respect Dick - for what Dick was good at. She knew scientific knowledge and seductive power were both enviable traits she could only hope to possess.

Don was nice enough to date her and pretend he was very grateful, and she like him for having kindness and a sense of humour. Frankly, she thought their human anatomies had too many protrusions that had only limited use in everyday life. Until she was going to hatch someone who needed to breast feed, she'd just as soon like to have a flat chest that allowed a more precise draw of her weapon.

Not that these humans LET her carry her weapons. It was all pretty infuriating. Anyway, she understood that Dick's ability to blend in with the academics of this world and even enrapture one of their females was impressive. He wasn't the best with logistics, though, and he wasn't even the most experienced. Tactically, she could see that she wasn't the best commander for a peaceful mission. It just didn't seem like the Commander was the best choice, either.

"Dick!" He barely swivelled, waving a hand at her and slurping at his wine. Mary was laughing at something he'd said, and Sally had unfortunately heard how effective laughter was on human females. "DICK!"

Tommy made his way over with a soda, even though he was eight or so times the legal drinking age. He took in the situation easily, young eyes better suited to observe, even as his immature body barred him from the authority he would need to seize control of the mission.

"What are you doing," he barked, scaring even a degree of upright attention from Sally's military posture.

"Dick is flashing a whale tale," she whispered, glaring at the dozen or so people who had stopped 'mixing' with the other university guests. It was called a Faculty Mixer, and Sally thought the open bar meant it was the university's way of encouraging cross-breeding in their academically well-endowed staff members.

"What's a whale ta-UGH! Jeez . . . " Tommy saw it before Sally could discretely point it out. Dick had shed his jacket and pulled out his shirt tails, and there above his too-loose belt was the elastic of a skimpy thong. Tommy was in high school and he'd seen thongs as they should be administered. The neat division of buttocks was a noble goal, but this was not right. Dick had more - bulges than would ever be biologically necessary.

"DICK! DICK!" Now they were both calling, trying to keep it down but needing to raise their voices over a low hum of drunk humans. "Dick, your thong is showing!"

Suddenly losing patience, the commander spun around. Mary was splashed by his wine as it swirled out of his glass, and turned her attention to her shoes.

"WHAT?! I'm not even wearing my moccasins," Dick snarled, raising his hand to cup over his mouth in order to direct his next statement. "Mary has been drinking, and I am trying to take advantage of that."

The human woman had given up on her shoes and her eyes widened at her date's forthright words. Sally furrowed her brow, trying to figure out what footwear had to do with underwear, aside from being worn.

"Thongs were also known as leather strings that held together traditional Native American clothing, including soft shoes," Tommy told her confidently.

"Thanks," she said, nodding, then scowling. "But Dick is still flashing, just in the opposite direction."

"Oh for heaven's sake!" Mary reached out, tugged Dick's shirt down for him, threw his plastic glass of wine into the trash, and led him away. As they walked, Mary's hands were invisibly working under his clothing, and her mouth was up next to his face, speaking so softly no one could possibly hear but Dick.

"I have no idea why she thinks anyone can hear her when she does that," Tommy shook his head sadly. "Honestly, I think she's making him dumber!"


End file.
